How do You Doula?

Written By Leslie Taylor

On November 8th, Francesca Arnoldy led a workshop in Doula Skills for Community, at the Jeudevine Library in Hardwick. Three dozen people from all around the Northeast Kingdom showed up to learn how anyone can serve another person as a doula, in times of emotional intensity such as birth, death, loss, or grieving. 

The term “doula” is not reserved for those offering their services professionally, although some training and competency is to be expected from anyone who offers their compassionate care to a neighbor, a friend, or a family member. Francesca based the workshop on elements in her book, Cultivating the Doula Heart: Essentials of Compassionate Care.

The Doula Role encompasses both Ways of BEING, and Ways of DOING. Here are some examples:

Ways of BEING:

  • An emotional ally

  • Meeting people where they are

  • Turning toward suffering

  • Maintaining a Beginner’s Mind (none of us are experts in what another is going through)

  • Companioning and serving

  • Intentional presence

  • Compassionate

  • Non-judgemental

  • No agenda

  • Holding the person being supported in Unconditional Positive Regard

Ways of DOING:

  • Discovering a person’s wishes

  • Working through fears and anxieties

  • Honoring and holding sacred space

  • Leading guided imagery, visualizations, relaxations, and breathing exercises

  • Promoting informed consent - helping with advance directives

  • Assisting with legacy and completion work (arts, spoken and written words)

  • Conducting life review sessions

  • Providing resource referrals

  • Coordinating care

  • Vigil sitting

Our NEK Death Care Community includes professional doulas, community doulas, and lots of folks who might not call themselves a doula, but have learned a few things about how they can help in times of need. Get in touch at nekdeathcarecommunity@gmail.com if you would like to know more.

Leslie Taylor
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Cultivating Compassion: Doula Skills for Community Use